Contagious

They didn't know if I had H1N1 (swine flu), their samples were somehow compromised. My husband and son also had samples taken, they both had the flu but not the same type as me.

At one point they even suspected I had H5N1 (avian flu). I was put in complete isolation after they stitched me up. I have no memory of this.

My husband got a friend of his to stay at the house with our son (asleep for the night), so he could come to the hospital to see me and our new baby.

Honestly I think people were brave to babysit for us, because the doctors at that point didn't know what I had or how contagious it was. I am so grateful to our friends who watched our son so my husband could come to the hospital. I think my husband did try and ask this favor of our friends who don't have children yet. I understand it must have been really scary, because you don't want to get sick yourself and you absolutely don't want children catching anything potentially dangerous.

The night our baby was born, I was apparently conscious after the surgery. Because I was in isolation they brought me a computer and showed me my baby via web cam. I have no memory of this. When my husband arrived at the hospital I was unconscious. He did not get to see me awake but he went to the NICU to see our baby for the first time, and hold her for the first time.

 I don't know when this next bit happened because I do not remember it, but apparently I woke up at one point, ripped out my tubes and IVs, stood up and started walking out of the isolation chamber. I was going to get my baby, my baby needed me, I needed my baby, some base nature as a mother made me do that. It took a couple of nurses to hold me back and I wouldn't budge until one of them said to me that I had to get better for the sake of my children. I had to take care of me first before I could take care of my children. They were in good hands until then. This calmed me down and they re-intubated me and this time restrained me to the bed so I could not rip out all my leads again.


It is extremely weird to me that this happened and I do not remember it, at all.


This was a Tuesday. I got progressively worse as the week wore on. They put me in a prone positioning bed, it takes pressure of the lungs to try and give them the room to heal. My body was so full of fluid I was unrecognizable, all puffy and eyes sunken in. When my mother arrived she said she was afraid to touch me for fear of my skin just bursting underneath her fingers.


To be continued...